Here is an old photo of me smoking a fine cigar. My name is Twoey Clarke. I am a broken-down 74 years old, 5'8", 195' (stocky), balding (yea, now shaved head), graying, and obviously into honesty.

I am single. If you are a serious babe and want to audition for the Dream Date page or, better yet, be my dream date in real life, e-mail me with your revealing photo(s) attached. You must be between 18 and 30 years old to qualify.

My avocations include professional photography, surfing the net, and watching horror movies. Vocation: I can't tell you, because then I'd have to kill you, but now I am retired, so maybe all I'd have to do is torture you a while. You can figure out a little about my tastes, though, by looking at my collection of Coolest Links.